AH… AT LAST
I hate clichés…
I would’ve said “a journey of a thousand years begins with…” you know blah blah blah
…and wow I LOVE Anecdotes, and this right here gon’be riddled with them.
When I got a message from Perry asking me to pen something about my med sch journey (I know a lot us did get the same message too), I was like do I really have something to share…her apt reply was after 6 year you really don’t have nothing to share…
I remember when I was younger, I would always say I’d like to be a banker but as I grew older and got to see life and that people needed help, so I decided I was gon’be a doctor to make a hell lotta money. So it is safe to say I wanted to become a doc cause of money, only if I knew better. Then Neurosurgery came after my elder brother introduced me to Dr Ben Carson on whom I wrote an essay on “my role model and why” with a massive input from this said brother, I was only in jss 2 (the piece came third in Lagos, buh that’s a story for anoda day).
I remember when I filled my UME form and the brouhaha I caused, cos you know what, I filled unilag/unilag, medicine/medicine. Through all the ruckus and pleas, I never flinched a bit neither did I waiver…honestly I in my youthful exuberance put my all eggs in one basket. Several years later my father would retell this story to his friends, he was saying how strong I was… I could see the subtle pride as he spoke; his eyes glistened as he grinned from ear to ear.
Year one wasn’t that eventful, I made very few friends and a few acquaintances.
Year two/part one began with the trapping awe of anatomy, physiology and biochemistry. I haven’t been to other med schools but one thing for sure is that they are the same as they’ve got there peculiarities. My first exam in the college was the anatomy c.a (that I didn’t really prep for), I shaded all but one or two and you know I got 37… my worst through med sch… And then came the paradox of physiology incourse 1 and 2. I almost never burned the night candle for 1 and I passed well, 2 wasn’t the case, I had burned the night candle but my reward was 46. I saw my result I couldn’t believe what I saw so I checked again then I started laughing. Was I happy? I didn’t know myself… oh lest I forget; let me let you in on this gossip about a mate of ours whom they said had a book containing all our names, mat nos and our incourse results… no be me talk, I hear am myself ni.
Part two was my year of re-sit, haters snitching and second worse result in med sch. I had a self-inflicted re-sit in morbid anatomy; I almost never made 8:00 am classes. My docket was signed by the HOD with the help of my two gees (y’all know them), didn’t want to look bad so I told two of my other gees one of whom had the same issues. On the day of exam I just strolled in like nothing is going to happen but to my surprise they brought a list we that didn’t make attendance and therefore I was kicked out. Obviously someone had gone snitching on me and I know who that person gonna be but I keep that to meself. Wow micro bacteriology result was another disaster, I and some guys I went with to check the result got 30-something each and I remember Dr Oladele asking if we could take that result home. Hell No.
Clinical year was a new exposure, a totally different stroke of the brush… clerking, examinations, ward rounds, the never ending harassments, long surgeries we was to observe, A and E…EOPS. We met very nice doctors and consultants. Prof Ojini (God bless the man), Prof K of the “dog and non-dog fame”, Mr Ogunleye (…you will insert ‘shest tube’), Dr banjoko, my conso Dr kalejaiye (Dr K) permit me to say she is a real darling even though I and my other male culprits nearly stifled life outta her. *** .*** Dr K: Kunle give me five causes of massive splenomegaly.
Kunle: em em Dr K: ah Kunle Kunle
Dr K: Taiwo examine this patient’s abdomen. Taiwo: **does rubbish** Dr K: you this boy ehn Dr K: Bisoye, Bisoye examine this patient’s precordium Bisoye: I will create rapport… Dr K: you have created rapport Bisoye: I will screen my patient Dr K: you have done all that, Bisoye go to the precordium, Bisoye: I will place the patient in cardiac position Dr K: oh oh Bisoye ehn ah Bisoye: I will like to use the IPPA and will like to use the J pattern… Dr K: He doesn’t know jare he is just wasting time *laughs* this one he is just a politician… you people before you kill me I will kill you first Dr K: …teach them jare Sandra. Sandra: *Sandra too didn’t do better but she was far efficient*. *** *** ***
I remember psychiatry and its annoying verbosity even for someone who loves writing… clerking for 2-3 hrs. The EOP exams came and I was the first person called to present my case of Bipolar affective disorder; Manic episode to Prof Aina. I went with a lofty self-belief because a senior registrar had helped me fine-tune my clerking. He asked me with a dangerous smile for the important tests I’d send the patient for before prescribing Lithium and you know what I forgot the most important, thyroid function test… the man looked at me dangerously and said he’d fail me. I was in a dangerous situation but to Almighty Allah’s glory I passed dangerously.
Med school is fun, rough and tough, stressful and beautiful, above all trains you in all aspect not to forget you go tay for school. You’ll meet nice people, crazy ones, party freaks, religious folks, fashionista, entreprenuers etc.
I thank God for seeing me through this phase of my life. My subtle recalcitrant self have been blessed beyond my comprehension and above all imaginations. I pray He continues to bless me, improve me in all aspects and above all make a success in this world and hereafter…I will also like to say a big thank you to my FAMILY and FRIENDS including Perry (Yeye Oyo)…May God bless you guys abundantly.
Dokita Pendreazy signing out… (penumbraah.wordpress.com) *winks* Lol
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